2022 Kangaroo Kourt

The facts presented below are based on the events that occurred during the Kangaroo Court on the way to Kelowna on the 24th of April.  The names of the defendants have been changed to protect the innocent.  

JUDGEThe Honourable Nick (Hanging Judge) Oliver
PROSECUTORMalcolm (I escaped from Alcatraz) Solway
PUBLIC DEFENDANTDr. Chuck (You can’t  handle the truth) Jung
BALIFFSCraig (Stop talking and listen) Geddes
Ehrich (The Stud) Falkenhagen

DEFENDANTOFFENSEVERDICTSENTENCE
TWIT #01WhiningGuilty$10
TWIT #02Abandoning a teammateGuilty$10
TWIT #03Vanity / Dying hair with lemons in 2009GuiltyPickle juice hair rinse
TWIT #04Missing the bus from the ferryGuilty$10
TWIT #05Missing the bus from the ferryGuilty$10
TWIT #06Not knowing the laws of RugbyGuilty20 Push-ups
TWIT #07Arguing with Coach/CaptainNot Guilty
TWIT #08Fighting / Whining / Bribery / IntimidationGuilty$20 / Dance on Field
TWIT #09Usurping Alpha male stud roleNot Guilty
TWIT #10Naked Ziplining in public on 01JulyGuiltyNaked singing O’Canada
TWIT #11Naked Ziplining in public on 01JulyGuiltyNaked singing O’Canada
TWIT #12Whining about losing / stealing rumGuilty$20
TWIT #13Trespassing kid area on ferryGuilty5min on playground
TWIT #14Trespassing kid area on ferryGuilty5min on playground
TWIT #15WhiningNot Guilty
TWIT #16Losing the Twits MOM beltGuilty$10
TWIT #17Losing the Twits MOM beltGuilty$10
TWIT #18Losing the Twits MOM beltGuilty$10
TWIT #19Losing the Twits MOM beltAcquitted
TWIT #20StreakingNot Guilty

Due to the skill and tenacity of the Public Defender, (You can’t handle the truth)  Chuck, five Twits had their charges dropped and were set free.  The others were not so fortunate.  They served their sentences and it is hoped that they learned from their indiscretions.

We would like to thank all the defendants for being good sports and Nick, Malcolm, Chuck, Craig and Falky  for their roles in the court.  A special thanks goes out to Lolly and Peewee for organizing the event.